According to the scale (which I know I should not be using, but curiosity gets the best of me) I am officially at my heaviest yet. I didn't need a scale to tell me this, the way my clothes fit spoiled it far in advance. About a year ago was when I started seeing a trainer and following a diet. I started that journey 17 pounds lighter than I am now, and at my best on that diet I was 25 pounds lighter that I am now. 25 pounds. Where did I go wrong since last November??
I acknowledge that, as with most people, my battle with food is entirely in my head. I'm not actually hungry, but my mind gets hell-bent on grabbing that snack or dessert. It becomes all I can think about until I satisfy that craving. I also believe that my personal issue is heightened by my OCD. Yes, I'm aware this all sounds crazy but I know it's a reality for me and plenty of others. I use food as an escape from the stress of my life, and recently I've been turning to really terrible foods that I shouldn't have even tried in the first place (like ice cream, pizza, sandwiches, bakery cookies, candy... basically carb and sugar heaven). This behavior is shocking to my pre-diet self.
Before my diet journey I had far less issues with food. I ate what I then believed to be "healthy". Back then it was low calorie foods like veggies, fruits, and chicken, but I also included whole grains like oatmeal, artificial sweetener, and processed, low calorie foods. Nonetheless, I struggled far less to keep my diet in check. If it wasn't "good" for me, I didn't go near it. Usually I would tell myself that if it contained more than a certain amount of calories or didn't have a certain amount of vitamins in it, then I couldn't have it.
Somewhere along the line since then,
At the beginning of summer, I embarked upon a 30-day Paleo challenge. At the end of it I felt so in control of my cravings and my body. I was leaning out, sleeping perfectly, my energy levels were through the roof, stomach issues and headaches were disappearing, and I felt all-around awesome. How did I fall so far backwards since then? Am I really that self-defeating?
Needless to say, the onset of a new 30-day challenge, this time accompanied by a slew of my favorite gym friends, is perfect timing for me. I'm more than ready to pick myself back off the floor and get a fresh start. In case you missed my first challenge, here are the guidelines:
- Each meal should consist of vegetables, meats, and healthy fats.
- Fruits and nuts/seeds are also allowed, but since weight loss is my goal, I'm going to start off by cutting these out.
- Foods not included: all grains and dairy, anything processed, all added sugars, legumes, starches, and alcohol.